


Those Lonely Christmas Nights

by ultravisceral



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Angst, Depression, Happy Ending, M/M, Sad, larry - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-26
Updated: 2015-05-26
Packaged: 2018-04-01 08:34:38
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,089
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4012903
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ultravisceral/pseuds/ultravisceral
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sometimes, Harry destroys himself.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Those Lonely Christmas Nights

The bathroom floor was cold, the linoleum reflecting in the light, the window open above the shower, the gusts of wind whistling through the small room. Secrets seeped through the screen, the cries of a young man, spending yet another holiday alone, without his beloved companion, the only one who could make him smile anymore. The sounds of cliche Hallmark movies played from the other room, the fuzzy winter socks rubbing together against his toes, his jumper sleeves stained in red. Harry could never explain why he destroyed himself, why he cut through the porcelain white skin, why he looked in the mirror almost every night, and sobbed; why he never went outside, why he always scrolled through the hate messages on Twitter. It was like he was purposefully searching for ways to ruin who he was a person, right down to the bone, inside was sadness, the same sadness that he held many years ago, when his father left him. But now, it was another man who had left him, a man whose name was unforgettable, one he could never hate no matter the circumstances. Louis, held the key to so many things, including his heart, his flat, and his life, not that he ever used those anymore, the only time he came into their flat was when he needed a place to stay, drunk, because Eleanor wouldn't let him stay over when he was that intoxicated. Harry would always have a bed for him, which would smell faintly of Louis, and strongly of liquor in the morning, but he would still stay until the scent was deep within the sheets, wafting through the walls, into every corner of the house. An infectious smell, smile, laugh, something that always made Harry happy, which is why he was so welcoming, but he always would be, because, it was Louis. But it was that cold Christmas night, when Harry sat alone in the bathroom, a mess with blood and tears, that the lock turned in the house. Footsteps were heard, coming towards the door, down the narrow hallway, and suddenly Harry began to scramble, cleaning everything, rushing to wipe away things with a towel. "Harry what the hell?" Louis screamed, as soon as he entered, seeing the mess Harry had made of himself. "I-I, you see, I was j-just," Harry stumbled over his words, interrupted by the loud and terrified gasps of Louis. Louis tore away the towel, uncovering the fresh cuts, and he supported himself on the counter. "Why? What's so wrong in your life that would make you do this?" Louis sobbed, tears falling down in a waterfall, slowly staining the floor. "You! Ever thought about that when you were prancing around the whole fucking town with your skinny, little, perfect girlfriend? The fucking model I could never live up to because you never fucking gave me a chance?" Harry screamed, anger turning his face red, curls everywhere. Louis dropped to his knees, only crying harder, hands against the once cold floor, but that was covered in tears and red by the time Louis got there. "Why couldn't you have told me? Instead of now, when I sitting in your own blood?" Louis cried out, wondering if anyone could understand the pain he felt. "No, I wasn't going to lose my best friend over my fucking emotions." he said, face cold and stiff. "If you had told me sooner, I could've had a chance to do this." Louis said, lurching forward, kissing Harry fiercely, and holding him tightly. Harry broke away quickly, "Don't pretend to like me back just to save me, it won't work." Louis just went back to kissing Harry, relaxing into the warmth of the younger man. They tore apart slowly, a peace falling over the room, before Louis said, "Let's clean you up and I'll go speak to Eleanor about why she can go fuck Stan." Harry opened the small cabinet, grabbing two washcloths, one for the floor, which Louis took care off, while Harry dabbed at the fresh and open wounds, looking down at a still crying Louis. Rinsing them one final time and drying them, Harry met Louis' worried glare from the doorway. "Let's go and sit for a bit. Okay?" Louis asked, grabbing Harry's hand. "Yeah, let's do just that." The pair walked through the hall, sitting on the couch, Harry laying partially in Louis' lap. "You know, I've loved you for a long time. I've spent a lot of that time denying it, telling myself there is no way I can be attracted to my bandmate and closest friend. I wanted to not have that attraction, to not think of you kissing me every single time you looked at me. But I did, and sadly, there is nothing I can do to take back the years spent hiding, trying to change those feelings, because I didn't want to lose you had you found out." Harry said, looking at Louis, one tear slipping down his cheek. "I promise, there is nothing that you could ever do to change the fact I love you too, and that I will always be here. There is nowhere I can go without you, I can't leave someone like you behind. I love you and I wouldn't, couldn't do that to you, or even to myself. I was with Eleanor for a long time, thinking of all the flaws in our relationship, I was more in love with the memories, the girl who wasn't addicted to her fame, the girl who didn't spend all her time trying to look good for the cameras. She was ruined by fame, and I pray that never happens between us." Louis admitted. Harry was lying in his lap, hair being petted, and almost purring. But when he heard those words, he wanted to cry, jump around and shout in happiness. Louis expressed finally that Eleanor wasn't everything to him, and it seemed like to Louis, Harry almost mattered more. "I don't know what to say, but I can guarantee you, if I did attempt to form more than two coherent thoughts, it would come out in squeaks and squeals." Louis just chuckled, eyes squinting, a familiar smile making Harry want to die inside. "Let's just kiss and sleep, we can call Eleanor in the morning. I promise." Louis said, and Harry nodded in agreement, reaching up to wrap his arms around Louis' neck, and trying to get closer to Louis' pretty pink lips. He might actually have a happy ending.

**Author's Note:**

> I was really scared uploading this, because I wrote it extremely quick. Please enjoy, though.


End file.
